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death
August 2008 
The Value of Grief
Posted on May 16th, 2006
by 
Jennifer
Jennifer
I have had many losses in my life. Some due to the death of someone I cared, so due to dreams that haven't come true, others due to having moved a lot over the last few years.
The last two most significant losses in my life were my brother (who died in 1995) and my best friend (who died in 2001, just 10 days before 9/11 and her service was 2 days after 9/11).
Today I had a deeply meaningful talk with a new friend and what I realize is that even though it has been 11 and 4 years since my last two major losses, I continue to learn more and more about myself through those losses. The talk renewed my passion for helping people who are grieving and teaching people how to be with grieving people. It also made me very aware of how consciously or not consciously I am living my life. With all the deaths I have experienced personally and professionally, I have set the intention to live a more mindful life and I'm human and don't always do that 100% of the time. Today, was a mindfulness bell for me, to wake up, and be mindful of the present moment that is situated in all of my experiences and all of who I am.
In the midst of grieving, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and alarming. We can also feel relieved, filled with anguish, or joy depending on what we believe about dying, death, and grieving. All of those feelings and about 400 more are perfectly normal and healthy to feel after a loss, no matter who tells you what.
My hope is that I can share what I have learned and what other grieving people have taught me, that is NOT in the books you read and is NOT trained to professionals. It comes from being present and honest and open to another's journey. My blog will be about reflections I have as I move more and more into consciously living my life and grieving my losses.
And, just to give you an important piece of information about me, I don't tend (if I am mindful) to use the word grief because it implies some "thing". I am much more comfortable with the term grieving because it is what we think, feel, do, experience, and so much more. I believe grieving is fluid, changing, and transforming. I hope that my words will bring comfort to those who seek it.
With Compassion,
Jennifer
The last two most significant losses in my life were my brother (who died in 1995) and my best friend (who died in 2001, just 10 days before 9/11 and her service was 2 days after 9/11).
Today I had a deeply meaningful talk with a new friend and what I realize is that even though it has been 11 and 4 years since my last two major losses, I continue to learn more and more about myself through those losses. The talk renewed my passion for helping people who are grieving and teaching people how to be with grieving people. It also made me very aware of how consciously or not consciously I am living my life. With all the deaths I have experienced personally and professionally, I have set the intention to live a more mindful life and I'm human and don't always do that 100% of the time. Today, was a mindfulness bell for me, to wake up, and be mindful of the present moment that is situated in all of my experiences and all of who I am.
In the midst of grieving, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and alarming. We can also feel relieved, filled with anguish, or joy depending on what we believe about dying, death, and grieving. All of those feelings and about 400 more are perfectly normal and healthy to feel after a loss, no matter who tells you what.
My hope is that I can share what I have learned and what other grieving people have taught me, that is NOT in the books you read and is NOT trained to professionals. It comes from being present and honest and open to another's journey. My blog will be about reflections I have as I move more and more into consciously living my life and grieving my losses.
And, just to give you an important piece of information about me, I don't tend (if I am mindful) to use the word grief because it implies some "thing". I am much more comfortable with the term grieving because it is what we think, feel, do, experience, and so much more. I believe grieving is fluid, changing, and transforming. I hope that my words will bring comfort to those who seek it.
With Compassion,
Jennifer
Access: Public
Douglas Harding said on the occassion of his 97th birthday, earlier this year,
“Do not go ungrateful into your everlasting bliss, but let your gratitude surface with your mounting amazement that anything at all exists and that only the first person singular present tense is really and truly awake and is none other than the LOVE that makes the world go round and leaves no-one whatever out.”