Daily Om - Healing With Hurt - Using Your Pain To Help Others

The following is from Dailyom.com.  I receive these every day.... some I pass over, other's touch my heart tremendously.  Other's seem like a testament to some of my deepest beliefs.  This one is both of the last two -- it touched my heart and gave testament to one of my most fundamental beliefs.  This belief is what I hope I teach to every client, every professional I meet.

To me, life is about suffering, and it's about growth, and  transformation.  Many teachers and sages have told this throughout the ages and it is still something that we (as a collective we) seem to have such a hard time letting this teaching into the softest spots of our hearts and our spirits.  Sometimes I wonder if this need to stay away from these soft spots is part of our human nature or something that is instinctual that helps to keep us alive? 

What I do know is that it is also part of the human condition to use these painful soft spots to bring about the most life altering transformation possible.... to get in touch with our most authentic self and to create new life.  To me, it was my losses, that started when I was in elementary school that began creating who I am.  They were not the only influences, but major ones.  Then, I left the only place I knew as home and lived in 5 different states over a 9 year period.  It was a lot of shy hellos and many, many good byes.  During this time was also when I began working with AIDS patients, my brother was dying of AIDS, and 8 months later, would find out that my best friend's breast cancer had come back.  These are defining, pivotal moments of my life.  My choice, was to take the pain I encountered and learned through and put it to good use by helping those who were in similar situations.

My clients are often shocked when I have an idea of what they are going through.  "You're 35", they say, "how could you understand this?"  I understand because I had someone to hold my aching, soft, raw heart while I grieved for my brother.  I understand because I hold compassionate space in my heart for the person in front of me to let me enter their world.  It is in the unfolding and my being mindful to their story, not my ideas of "fixing" them that allow me to companion them.

This isn't about being given a bushel of lemons and making lemonade.  It is about learning to sit in your most human of places and know that you are holding the space for someone to be heard and seen in their pain and not abandon them, even when they find their own hope, or their own way.

I hope the the reading below inspires you (breathes life into you) the way it did me.  I'm away at school, with time to think and not have to do anything but eat, walk, and study.  This Daily Om came a the perfect time for me to reflect on how much I love being able to do what I do with others.

Honoring your light, your path,

Jennifer

June 15, 2006
Healing With Hurt
Using Your Pain To Help Others

Pain is a fact of being and one that permeates all of our lives to some degree. Since the hurt we feel may be a part of the experiences that have touched us most deeply, we are often loathe to let it go. It is frequently easier to keep our pain at our sides, where it acts as a shield that shelters us from others and gives us an identity-that of victim-from which we can draw bitter strength. However, pain's universality can also empower us to use our hurt to help others heal. Since no pain is any greater or more profound than any other, what you feel can give you the ability to help bring about the recovery of individuals whose hurts are both similar to and vastly different from your own. You can channel your pain into transformative and healing love that aids you in helping individuals on a one-to-one basis and spreading a tide of curative energy throughout the world.

The capacity to heal others evolves naturally within those who are ready to disassociate themselves from their identity as victims. In fact, the simple decision to put aside the pain we have carried is what grants us the strength to redeem that pain through service. There are many ways to use the hurt you feel to help others. Your pain gives you a unique insight into the minds of people who have experienced trauma and heartache. You can draw from the wellspring of strength that allowed you to emerge on the other side of a painful experience and pass that strength to individuals still suffering from their wounds. You may be able to council individuals in need by showing them the coping methods that have helped you survive or simply by offering sympathy. A kinship can develop that allows you to relate more closely with those you are trying to aid and comfort.

Helping others can be a restorative experience that makes your own heart grow stronger. In channeling your pain into compassionate service and watching others successfully recover, you may feel a sense of euphoria that leads to increased feelings of self-worth and optimism. Your courageous decision to reach out to others can be the best way to declare to yourself and the world that your pain didn't defeat you, and in fact it helped you heal.