Gaia Community: Jennifer's Blog

On what do you most enjoy spending money?

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 16:31:12 -0000

Books, books, books, books on cd
okay, i have to admit... i love back to school shopping... i'm still a student at heart.... i love office supplies... there's nothing like a fresh notebook even if I do everything on the computer these days......
I buy carrots for my friend's dog
I buy cards for my grandmother with dementia; she doesn't remember me but she brings them to the dining hall and shows them off to the other ladies.
did I mention I buy books?
and, when i travel, which is not often, I buy myself a small piece of jewelry... my brother used to buy me jewelry when he was alive, so I think of him and pick out something he would have bought me....
oh, and I do buy books and send them to Upaya Zen Center for their prison outreach program... I get to buy books and others get to benefit... how great is that?

Peace, Jen

What was the first word, or sentence, you spoke?

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:58:25 -0000

The first word I spoke was, Mike, older brother. The second word was no. We laugh about that. I'm not sure if I heard my parents saying no Mike so often of if I learned to say no and Mike to stop him from picking on me. LOL..... 14 years after Mike's death, I still say NO and mean it, and stick to my "guns" as it were.... I was told I also got him back though as a little one... I clunked him once with the wooden noise maker to the xylephone and once with a wooden hammer when he was being a goofball older brother... I remember neither... I was only a toddler... I bet I said no Mike on both occasions and he heard me.... sibling love....... ahhhhhhh

What have you learned from other animals?

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:12:23 -0000

Since March, I have become a dog lover... I never had pets because of allergies... but I've met a dog named Baxter who has taught me that dogs don't give unconditional love, but we do our best at loving them unconditionally.

Baxter has taught me that with deadlines, emails, blogs, etc... he is my best form of metta meditation. He is old and arthritic and I lay on the ground with him and give reiki... It's put a hop in his step and a smile on my face. If he wasn't so old, I'd ask him to marry me.

Be well and be at ease.
Jennifer

When was the last time you were really listened to?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:00:36 -0000

Every Thursday night at acupuncture Matt....
And by my friend Lois who died 7 years ago this Sept 1st.....
Thank god for healers and gentle souls.

What's your guiding question?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:38:29 -0000

I think I have two: how can I be more present here and now; how can I make a difference in the world as I move through it...

What makes you feel wealthy?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:35:34 -0000

Knowing that I have friends and family that love me, that I have my health, that I have visions for the future, knowing that I have had many blessing in my life... great opportunities, and many amazing souls that have walked with me on my path. I also feel wealthy while I'm doing school work and knowing that I am making some of my dreams come true. And I feel wealthy when I can help someone in need, like the Upaya Prison Outreach Program... I feel like I can share the dharma with them and teach them what I've learned about meditation. And always, I feel wealthy and honored that all of these people in my life give me back so much. It is priceless.

How do you handle change in your life?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:26:00 -0000

Well, it's a bit either/or. No, I don't mean that I read Kierkegaard and then make a decision. I either see that things can change and am excited about potentials. I get excited when things can expand, transform, and evolve. On the other hand, when change happens because someone needs to keep busy, I'm slow to change. When I understand why change is happening I embrace it well. Even in tragedy like some things going on in the town my parents live in, I can still understand the change and know it's part of life.

I've had a lot of changes in life and I think it has been so that I could learn that nothing is as it Is forever.

What sets off your creativity?

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:21:09 -0000

Being in nature, especially around water. Good music. A great line in a book. Seeing beauty in some form. Feeling at One with All.

What do you consider to be true strength?

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:14:03 -0000

Integrity and personal congruence.

Where are you taking risks?

Fri, 23 May 2008 17:33:28 -0000

I'm taking the risk to step outside of my conditioned way of thinking of who I am, forgetting who people have told me I am, and stretching.. one of those really good dog or cat stretches... (I've been with two dogs for 2 months now and they are teaching me a lot).

I'm reaching out to others who I might be afraid to reach out to in the past. I'm way outside my comfort zone and just taking it in, breathing, and knowing that mystery is part of creativity and growth.

I'm taking a risk on living the dream I have right now.......

Namaste, Jen

Where do you find security?

Fri, 23 May 2008 17:30:15 -0000

I don't know if I really like that word... to me, it has a connotation like "forever"... but the closest thing I would say is my mindfulness practice. Even when the world gets crazy, more goodbyes happen, things spin the wrong way, my breath is always there, my feet always feel the floor, and brown rice always tastes better. Sometimes, that's about as secure as things need to be. Anything more than that and it feels like I get into illusion....

Of course, I get great strength from the people I love, both alive and dead. I'm pretty far from everyone I know right now but feel like they are right here with me. That is comfort and it is empowering...
J

What are you teaching?

Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:09 -0000

"You cannot teach a [man] anything. You can
only help him discover it within himself."
- Galileo Galilei: Was an astronomer, physicist, and philosopher

I think I am taking the time I need to take care of myself. I hope that the people around me
especially my clients and co workers learn from that.
When the well is dry you need to take the laddle out
for awhile.

I feel more like I am a sponge right now, learning instead of
teaching for a change....
It's scary and I feel the growing pains, but
I believe it needs to happen before the next great thing.

Peace to all.
J

What are you being a voice for?

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:24:22 -0000

I've put this question off because right now, I do not know and am trying to be open to what that is.... it is an excellent mantra for me professionally and personally right now.
J

What are you drawn to in others?

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:22:58 -0000

What draws me to others is their ability to be empathetic and to see the good when it is not explicitly visible. What draws me to others is a desire to connect deeply with others and bring about community with depth and substance.
J

What is currently bringing meaning to your life?

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:20:44 -0000

Having space and time to myself, to be still and go within, to be in nature is bringing meaning to my life. Having the realization that I am more than who I thought I was brings the openness to expanded meaning in my life.

My family brings much meaning, especially as my mother deals with her mother diagnosed with dementia and being at a distance from her. I admire how my mom cared for her dying son and is giving endless love and comfort to her mother now, 13 years later. Mom reminds me through her generous heart that we are here to serve, to help ease the suffering of others, and to use our suffering as our spiritual lessons from which to grow.
J

What are you cultivating?

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:16:48 -0000

I am cultivating a new way of being in the world, being aware of my thoughts, finding happiness in a time of great uncertainty. I continue to cultivate my practice of lovingkindness through my volunteer work with Upaya Zen Center's Prison Outreach Program.

I am also cultivating (nursing) my dreams for what is about to happen in my life, being open to how it comes about but planting seeds and being open to what wonderful field of flowers grows.
J

What are you learning?

Tue, 20 May 2008 21:08:41 -0000

I'm learning to sit with the unknown, to listen to my intuition, believe in my capabilities, and to trust my higher self given the spiritual lesson I am going through.
J

Why Not Our Families

Mon, 19 May 2008 19:06:51 -0000

Grief can be a tremendous trauma to our bodies, spirits, and psyches. Often our whole world is shattered. We now doubt things we never thought we would -- that "someone will be there when I grow old"; that "we have worked hard all of our lives, now we can finally spend time together"; or that "someday I will walk with my daughter on the happiest day of her life." Things we have believed all of our lives now are the very things that we question or we find do not give us support in our time of need. At a time when so much doesn't make sense, it is important to have people around who are there for us and will be compassionate, caring companions on our grief journey.

After the death of someone we love, one of our natural instincts can be to turn towards those who are closest to use for support. And sometimmes as we reach out, support is the last thing we receive. What we often find is that it's not who we thought it would be. We turn to family or our closest friends and find that we are abandoned, blamed, isolated, shamed, or avoided. And once again, everything we believed in falls apart just when we need it to be a strong foundation.

Even our most loving and loyal friends and family cannot always be there for us during our grief journey and ther are many reasons why we may have the need to seek support elsewhere. One reason that keeps those close to us from reaching out is that often they also bereaved and are grieving the loss of the person who died. Their pain can be just as all-consuming as ours and they might not be spiritually or emotionally available to us. Other times, we represent what our friends' or family's future holds -- that they too will grieve the loss of a lover, a best friend, a child, or a parent. Seeing us only reminds them of the uncertainty of their lives and the lives of those they love. Still other times, people just don't understand what to do or say to help us and it somehow "come out all wrong". Some have never experienced the death of someone close to them and may have never learned to be empathetic or compassionate around the needs of the bereft.

So how do we find support? One thing to remember is that, as the bereaved person, you are the expert on your own grief. Take the risk to tell someone what you need or what might be of comfort to you. Let those around you know that you need to talk about the person who died or about your lives together before the death. Know that even though someone loves you, they might not be the person who can listen to your stories or share your grief at this time. Remember that if you are not getting your needs met, there are people who will will there and support you during this time.

Jennifer
Namaste Consulting, Inc.
mindfullyexisting@gmail.com

What's easy for you?

Wed, 14 May 2008 18:56:50 -0000

It's easiest for me to see potentials... in situations and in people. It's easy for me to "join with" a person or group that is struggling and hold space for them to find their own way.

It is easy for me to write when I am up late at night or being in nature (means you need a good notebook or a good battery for your laptop).

It is easy for me to sometimes forget the outside world when I am deep inside what's going on with me, such as a project or my own process. The balance between knowing what's going on in the world and focusing on my own process isn't always that easy...

It is easy for me to keep in touch with my dearest friends, no matter how busy I get.

It is easy for me to believe that we can change the world by starting with our own.

It's easy for me to know that there are really important places for me to be, doing good work; it's the getting there that is tricky for me.

What would you choose to make a film about?

Sat, 10 May 2008 17:43:30 -0000

I would choose to make a film about individuals and small organizations that make a difference in the world and who are using new ways of thinking to solve century old problems (as well as problems that have recently surfaced).

I would like to show people who are making difference, especially young people! I see glimpses of young people making strong impacts and I think that they are not being given the recognition they deserve.

I would like to remind people that Margaret Mead was correct.